Why I’ve Started Meeting With a Spiritual Director

So there’s a difference between a therapist and a spiritual director. 

According to one article, “A therapist is going to examine a spot on a leaf or a broken branch (emotional and mental issues) and work with you on how to heal those parts, while a spiritual director is going to focus on the wind blowing through the leaves and branches (God moving in each aspect of your life, including those broken places).” 

I affirm the validity and need for both. 

Furthermore, I do not believe there is anything lacking in my local church context to provide insight, pastoral counsel, or wisdom. I just believe there is a wider body of believers (universal church) who are called and gifted for a unique purpose that I want to tap into. 

I had my first meeting with a spiritual director this week, and I did not realize how much I needed.

Here are 3 reasons why I’ve started the journey: 

1. Pastors need pastoring too. 

One of the roles of the spiritual director is to ask contemplative questions so that the individual dwells on how God might be moving or speaking in one’s life. While this sounds obvious, almost every pastor would admit that the pace of church ministry often squeezes out this kind of practice. It was surprising and refreshing as I entered a deep dive of asking myself questions that have not been asked of me in a really long time. 

2. Pastors need non-pressure spaces. 

Pastoring presents a unique environment. This is because shepherds don’t expect the same treatment from sheep. They’re simply trying to care. But pastors need a space where someone says, “You don’t need to worry about taking care of me right now. Let’s focus on your relationship with Jesus.” I believe this is a needed environment for pastors. In my first meeting, my spiritual director had to stop me at one point to remind me that I didn’t need to bring him along in the conversation and “be on as a pastor.” I did not even realize I was doing it. 

3. I’ve seen pastors fall, and it scares me. 

When I was in seminary, I was told that I would see colleagues and peers lose their ministry. I nodded but it didn’t sink in. But as time has gone by, the collection of stories of those losing their ministry has grown. This scares me because these were people who were running their race well at one point. They did not anticipate their future fall. And while I don’t see spiritual direction as the answer, I want to apply as many tools as I can so that I finish my course by God’s grace.

Conclusion

If you’re a pastor, I would encourage you to find a therapist or a spiritual director, or both (if you can afford it). Yes, it’s a financial investment, but it’s also an investment for your people. You may be really awesome, but your people aren’t dumb. They know you have issues. As you take steps in your journey with Jesus, you’re helping your people. You’re setting an example. You’re curbing your shadow side. There’s little to lose but much to gain. 

If you’re a member of a congregation, I want to invite you to pray bold prayers that your pastor be sensitive to the Spirit’s leading. It is so easy for a pastor to guide everyone else to God while walking around in circles, personally. It’s easy for a pastor to smile on stage, but lose sensitivity to the ways of Jesus. Your prayers will make a massive impact. 

God, help your church. God, lead your under-shepherds.